So, once again, it has been a while since I have made a new post on here. Most of which has to do with the fact that my Laptop keyboard pretty much doesn't work, which makes it slighlty difficult to tpye :). The other reason bieng is that well, I am a very busy person this year, so much to do. And while, they are all things I like, most of the time I feel like I could add another 6 hours to my day.
Anyway, enough about that.......
Humilty. It's something that I have been learning lately. It's a hard lesson to learn, and frankly, not too easy. There is always a part of me that wants to rise to the occasion and try and not feel so   "vulnerable" when I am being Humble. There is  part of me that tries to make me feel that being humble means being weak, when really, that is so not true. I think Humility is a lesson that we all have to learn throughout life. It's one that I think we have to continue to learn and it never stops. Every day, we are given the opportunity to be humble, or to be proud, and only we can choose what type of people we want to be.
This past week, during various situations, I found myself placed in a situation that presented itself with a choice. To either keep quiet and say nothing, or to speak up and try to defend myself. The first time it happened, I was more than ready to speak up and try to defend myself from what the person was accusing me of. But then, all of the sudden, I heard  a small voice telling me to stay silent and to say nothing. I was having a hard time. ha. I love to talk, and especially when someone is accusing me of something that isn't 100% true. I mean, why would anyone want someone to think wrongly of them? But, as I was hearing the person speak to me, I heard that small quite voice telling me to stay silent, to simply say, "Okay, I will try to do better next time" and leave the situation be. Not to get angry or upset, not to strike back with something against them. But to simply say  "Okay"and put a smile on my face.
As my week continued, I found myself in different situations three more times. I began wondering if God was trying to teach me something.....I came to the conclusions that,  "I think He is" :). Humility. Such a small word, and yet, such a big lesson to learn. Our human nature finds it so easy to speak back, to try and defend our reputation, to try to walk away with our  "dignity" still in tact. Yet, I am beginning to find that, the more I keep my mouth shut and don't say a word, the  better I feel. Character is built everytime I decide to keep quiet, instead of speaking. Everytime I  decide to forgive and forget, instead of trying to defend my side of the story.
I have come to realize that, God is my defender, He is the one who fights for me. I don't have to try and defend myself. By keeping quiet, I am sending a message out, that is alot louder and efficient, than any defense I could think up for myself.  I don't have to try to get in the last word, or try to "keep my dignity".  It's a lesson we all have to learn at one time or another, and the more we fight it, the longer it will take to learn.
I am only at the beginning of this process, and I know I have a very long way to go. I know it won't be easy, but I also know that I can follow the example of someone who has perfected humility. Someone who being everything, kept silent when accused, and suffered to the lowest degree. He didn't speak up, He didn't try to defend himself. He simply kept silent and said nothing. His silence is one of the greatest examples of Humility we will ever know. His death on the cross and being nailed in the middle of two thieves,the ultimate humiliation. And yet he said nothing, no complaints, no arguing. Only  love, compassion and forgivness.
I am far from that type of reaction, but I pray that someday, I will be able to be like Him.