Hammocks, early morning walks on the beach, swimming, relaxing, reading my Bible while listening to the waves crash in on the beach, that's how I spent my holiday week off.

Some good friends of ours, invited me to go along with them to El Salvador to spend the week at a vacation rental that they rented. I was very excited when I got the invitation! and was anxiously waiting for Monday morning to roll around, and finally it did. Early Monday morning, June 27th, me and 6 other friends, piled into a van on our way to El Salvador, ready to enjoy a week off  from school and our busy schedules, and just be able to rest.

Anyway, so, when we finally got through the border in El Salvador, after a very long day of driving, we finally arived at the house where we were going to stay. I had seen a few pictures of it on the website, but they seriously didn't do the place justice! As I stepped out of the van and through the gate, I could hear waves crashing over and over again onto the beach, and as I continued walking, I saw the most beautiful sight ever! A huge and vast ocean that stretched for miles and miles under a sunseting sky. As I ran over to the gate to stand and contemplate the beauty that I saw before me, I knew that the week was going to be a good one, and I just stood there awed by the beauty before me.

The next morning, I woke up and went and sat on the patio outside with my Bible and just sat and stared at the ocean, it was honestly the most peaceful setting that I have been in for my morning devotional. During the rest of the week, this continued to be my morning routine, sitting on the patio, listening to the waves crash in the ocean and read my Bible. Other times, I would simply go for a walk with Rebecca on the beach and we would both just stare and be amazed at the beautiful creation that God has created.  But more than just a good week with great friends and memories that will last forever, I found rest and peace for my heart.

I have lately been struggling with some different things in my life, things inside of me, things that only time with the Lord would fix. My week in El Salvador helped me to find that. Everytime I would look out at the ocean and hear the waves crashing in, I was reminded of God's sovereignty. I was reminded that, everything in my life is under control. He reminded me that, no matter what happens, and no matter where my journey leads me, He will always be right there beside me, and that all I need to do is hold on to His hand and trust Him, and He will guide me and make sure that I am okay. Even when things seem like they aren't very clear, and I begin to doubt him, He is still in control, and that, as long as I let Him, He always will be. That my identity is in Him and only in Him, and that, having him in my life, is more than enough.  Ah, what a great reminder!

So as I am back into the swing of things back at home, back to my crazy and busy schedule, I now have new strength to carry on and to fulfill the plans that God has for me for this year and to do what He has called me to do.
I am so very thankful for my week in El Salvador, it was great to spend time with some great friends and to experience a new place. But most of all, I am thankful for God's faithfulness, for always being constant in my life. I am thankful for having been remined of His greatness and reminded of the fact that He has me in His hands, and He will keep me safe. I am thankful, so very thankful,  that I was able to find true rest and peace,  in the beauty of creation.

My day at school today was quite interesting. I ended up spending most of my afternoon in the office with different students while they were solving out problems between each other. One of the situations that I sat in on, had to do with two of the students from the homeroom class that I am in charge of during the year. They had, had some sort of fight and in consequence, they ended up in the office.

So, as I sat in the office, listening to them try to sort out their problem, I couldn't keep from wondering if they would still end up getting a spanking for what they had done. ( yes, we spank in our highschool still.... ha.). As it turned out, they were asked if they would  like to get disciplined. They both said yes, so, as the first student got their spanking, I stood off to the side with the other one. As we stood there, she began to cry. As I watched her crying, I didn't really pay too much attention to what was going on inside of her. I was standing there thinking that she was probably crying more about the fact that she was going to get a spanking, then because of the fact of what had all happened.

But, as her turn came, and I stood there as  I watched the prinicple pray for her. Her crying became louder, and as soon as the paddle hit her, her crying began to turn into weeping, and all of the sudden she fell down  on her on knees. As I stood behind her watching her fall to her knees and cry, I began to feel like crying to. She was on the floor, saying over and over again how sorry she was, and saying how much she wanted to change.

During those few moments, I saw repentence, true repentene come from her heart. So many times there are problems that happen with my students that kind of just get resolved and everyone says sorry, and that's the end of it. But today, as I was in the office watching this girl cry down on her hands and knees, asking for forgiveness, my heart was moved. 

In those few moments, I felt and saw a glimpse of how God must feel when He watches me sin. When He sees me do things that are wrong, when I hurt other people, when I say things that aren't right among other things. His heart is saddened because of my sin, and He feels my pain. But what I also felt in those few moments, was the forgivness that He gives when we truly repent. He doesn't just stand there and watch us cry and repent before Him and let it be. No, He draws near to us, and tenderly holds us in His arms and gently whispers that " All is forgiven" and that there is no condemnation. What a gift! So undeserved, yet, so freely given.

 Something that can only come from, a  Father's heart, and a Father's tender love.

Cleaning. Its a hard task, it takes time, it takes energy, it's something you have to be willing to do. It doesn't happen on it's own, you have to decide that you want to do it, and then you do.
My heart. A part of me, that if I am not careful, will begin to accumulate junk. Whether it be in the form of envy, hate, disklike, ungratefulness, bitterness, worry, or anything else that is not from God.  It's like a sponge, that sucks everything up, and burries it deep down, and won't let go of it, unless I tell it to, unless I decide that it's time to clean.
You see, this past month has been a wake up alert for me. I have been seeing signs and have been hearing warning bells ring loudly in my head, telling me that the " junk" in my life, is getting to be too much.  The pile is getting to big to stay where it is, I either had put it somewhere to let it grow, or, begin to get rid of it completely. An easy task?  Not really.
Cleaning makes you get down on your hands and knees, it makes you get dirty, it makes you forget about your appearance for those few hours, and it makes you simply focus on the task that is ahead.
Cleaning out my heart is kind of like the same thing. I hae to get down on my hands and knees, and set my pride aside. I have to be willing to listen to the truth, the real truth, and not pretend that I don't care. I have to be willing to set aside my  appearance, and simply be humble.
 To truly clean, God asks me to leave  everything else aside, and reminds me that  I am only human, and that until I reach heaven, I will continue to make mistakes. But that the mistakes I make, can become either a blessing, or a curse. I have to decide. Will I let my mistakes mold me and shape me and help me become stronger? Or will I allow them to cripple me, and also cripple my walk with Christ? It's a decision, and it takes humility, a humility that only Christ can give me.
So as I continue to clean out my heart, to remove the junk that will cripple me if I allow it, I look to the cross. I look to the one who is standing there with His arms open wide, offering  grace and mercy. Reminding me of the blood that was shed so that I could find forgivness, and be given, undeserving grace.